Karma - The Never Ending Cycle

The law of karma says that beneficial effects are derived from past beneficial actions and harmful effects from past harmful actions.

I believe I can sincerely affirm that I have paid for many bad deeds before I was even capable of making some myself. Of course, I shall not picture myself as a saint, as I have since certainly reached the same level of mischievousness as most. Although, it might prevent Santa from visiting me on Christmas Eve, it certainly would not justify incessant fateful retributions. So why does – he - keep on reappearing in my life? Or should I say why is it that in spite of all the venom I threw at him, he still insists on getting some more?

Indeed, I received another e-mail from him last Friday. This time, I must say all pretenses we left out. The gist of his missive was pure and simple: begging me to take him back. Apparently he had realized he made a few mistakes and would do better this time given the chance or as he phrased it himself “I should not have been such an asshole about many things”. It was both sad and pathetic. Worsen by the fact that so much time as passed since we dated that I can barely remember what these mistakes might have been. Then again, I guess this is precisely the strength of his strategy. He did warn me way back then that he was very persistent. No kidding! Perhaps it could have worked in another lifetime, but not anymore. The big question remains though, how could anyone believe that by reducing themselves to this state of absolute inconsequence they might remain in some way appealing to others? Sadder still is the fact that I am forced to become the villainess once more. It would be nice if at least I could extract joy form it, alas it only brings boredom. Boredom and some degree of discouragement as he clearly understands the uselessness of his action and the unavoidable result “Please don't be too vicious. I know you don't beat about the bush. You tend be devastatingly dismissive of things you are done with.” Obviously he understands the words just not quite their meaning. As you can see, it is quite clear that in not so distant a future, I will be repeating the same speech all over again: seriously, it’s high time you moved on. Whatever we may have shared at some point years ago is long gone, and irremediably so. I thought I had been abundantly clear. Now, be kind enough not to contact me again, ever.

So this karma thing… I wonder, am I paying back right now or cashing up?